Men: "To pursue or not to pursue?"...that is the question. How many of you young ladies have asked or continually ask this question? If you have answered in your head "I have" than GOOD for you!! Asking the question is definitely better than never even thinking of it. Sadly, there are many girls who do not even know that not pursuing is an option. Pursuing seems to be a huge mindset of women these days especially in regards to men. However, just because the culture does it, does not mean it is right. In fact, you can pretty much bet that most anything this culture deems "right" or "worthwhile" is going to be just the opposite of what the Word of God says. We live in an extremely immoral age and society.
However, focusing on the downfall of this world is not the purpose of this post, so I'll get back to the point. How many of you young ladies know a young man whom you admire and would greatly enjoy getting to know better? If you know someone or even if you don't, you may be plagued with the ever present thoughts of "He's so nice. I notice him, does he notice me?" "What if I say this____,(you fill in the blank) will that make him think I'm forward or will he be grateful that I broke the ice so that he didn't have to?" "Would it really be so bad if I just sent him an email or asked to be friends on facebook? I mean, I really think he might like me or feel more open to pursuing me if I just get things going."
Does this sound at all familiar? If you feel shy about answering yes, don't be because I wholeheartedly will say right now that all of those thoughts if not more have gone through my head! It is not wrong to notice a guy and discover that he has traits that you are looking for in a future husband, but it is not worthwhile for you to do the pursuing. Even if your pursuit is as small as saying something like "____ (insert name)you did such a good job with that!" Don't get me wrong, if you are praising and encouraging him sincerely with no thought for your own gain, then by all means go right ahead, but if you’re saying something like that to get his attention on you and how nice and considerate you are, then it needs to be left unsaid. I may seem really nit-picky right now, but all in all anything that seems innocent can easily be turned into something conniving depending on where the heart is at. GIRLS SHOULD NOT PURSUE GUYS. GUYS SHOULD PURSUE GIRLS.
Why does it have to be this way? Because God says so. God clearly states in His Word that women are to submit to their husbands. What makes us think that we can start out a relationship with us women leading it and men following and then when marriage happens all of the sudden switch roles? It just doesn't work that way. If you start a relationship the wrong way, it won't automatically go the right way after you say "I do". Wanting to be the leader and initiator is a very natural tendency in women. Just because it is natural doesn't mean it is God's design. In fact, most of our tendencies are going to be fleshly and not of the Spirit. Battling our flesh and its desires is an ongoing struggle, one that we need to daily contend with.
Now some of you may be thinking “Well Morgan, I want a man to pursue me, but guys just don’t do that anymore. Sure men pursued women in the 1800’s, but what about the 2000’s? Society has changed, are there any men out there who still hold the mindset of being the leader and pursuer?” The answer to that question is a bold YES! It may not seem like there are any men out there who hold fast to God and His way of doing things, and it is true that there aren’t as many as there used to be, but the Lord will provide. If He has created you and filled you with His Word and His design, than He has surely created a “man after God’s own heart” for you. He doesn’t just create women who follow Him you know! He has given you convictions for a reason. “I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 In giving us His Biblical design, He is protecting us from the immorality of this world, and drawing us closer to Him. In fact, I think that living in an immoral culture is a blessing in some ways. I mean, if godly men were in abundance, we would not need to trust God and His timing as we have to in this fallen age.
Ladies, He knows you. He loves you. He will provide what you need at just the right time.
I know it is hard to wait. I know what it feels like to want to pursue a guy. In fact, I will be honest and say outright that I have failed at this. I pursued someone and it was not a wise choice. Thankfully, the Lord stopped things before irreparable damage could be done. He changed my heart. Take it from someone who has tried the method of being a “pursuer”, it is not worth it. It only leaves you longing more for him to pursue you. It doesn’t bring about the relationship you desire, and it really only belittles the young man that you are pursuing. Give men their rightful place ladies. Don’t deny them the privilege of winning your heart. If he is God’s choice for you, God will move in his heart to pursue you. Our Lord has raised the dead to life, so of course He can be trusted to orchestrate our love lives.
Stay strong dear sisters! It will be worth it in the end!
Blessings,
Miss Morgan
